Friday, March 18, 2011

What goes up...

Must come down.

Yesterday was a fantastic day and I did all that I could to bask in the warm, fuzzy feelings that came with my good day. Yesterday made me feel like I could handle anything that lupus could throw at me. I had hope.

Today is completely reversed and while I still have hope, it's dangling by a thread. It's gorgeous outside, but all I can do is observe it through my living room window. My body hurts all over. A person might think that with pain this intense, that it would be easier to locate it's origin, but that's not the case. The only thing that I am certain about is that I can't get away from it. I can't escape it and I can't ignore it. Small tasks turn into monumental tasks, and large tasks are impossible. Frustration, anger, sadness and a sense of loss are my companions for today.

I'm thankful that hope is my constant companion. Hope is what what carries me from one day to the next. Hope allows me to pick up the pieces when I feel so fractured. Hope is sometimes all that I have. I'm thankful that hope is enough.

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