It really spoke to me! As strange as it might seem, I watched that movie and I thought to myself that if I could take Sadie's (our dog) sickness away, I would do it without hesitating. She is so sick and sad, she can't tell us how much she hurts and she has to feel all of the pain on her own. I would never want that for her. I love her more than I ever thought that I could love a pet and the idea of her suffering is terrible. I really love my dog! I love her enough to take her pain away.
It's different for me. I know how to make sense of what is going on in my body and I can talk to people about it and cry about it and rage about it. That makes it easier. I know that I don't have to handle it all on my own and that I have people who love me enough to be a shoulder to lean on when I feel like I can't do it on my own. Sadie doesn't have that and she never will. Even when I keep my pain to myself, at least I can make sense of it in my head and that seems to help me out. I convince myself that it won't last forever and that medical advances are happening all of the time and that gives me a small measure of comfort. Sadie doesn't understand that and I have to imagine that because she doesn't get what's happening to her body, that it probably makes her pain so much worse.
It's not even a question for me. If I had John Coffey's power to use to take away my Sadie's agony, I would do it. She is a part of my family and I love her so very much. She is powerless to help herself and I can think of no better gift to give her than to ease her pain, if only I could.
I know that this is a bit of an odd blog, but it's been on my mind.
