This evening was my daughter, Olivia's 8th grade dance, She chose a beautiful dress and looked absolutely beautiful..This comes as no shock to me because I see Olivia through the eyes of love and pride so of course she's beautiful to me. I decided to volunteer as a chaperone for the dance and I was looking forward to it! I have to say that the planning committee really brought it because the dance was beautifully decorated and all of the kids attending spared no expense in making sure that they looked fabulous which made all of the preparation for the dance that much more meaningful. Personally, since I was a chaperone I didn't need to look awesome so I borrowed a dress from someone who is a great dresser. I mean, I have dresses, but they aren't meant for looking nice. Moo-moo dresses are ideal for comfort but not for looking presentable! The decorations were beautiful and the food displays looked mighty fancy. So fancy, in fact, that I had no idea that the cups with strawberries in them were juice cups! I noticed them but didn't know what they were for!
This isn't the real reason for this blog, however. I remember being an eighth grader once and I remember the loneliness attached to it. It's tough to feel like a nobody because you don't fit the mold of what's considered "cool". I think that this applies to any grade, not just 8th. I just remember feeling like such a loser at times because I couldn't be a carbon copy of all things cool. One of the biggest regrets that I have in my life is caring about the opinions of any of the popular crowd regardless of whether they were positive or negative. It's all well and good that I don't care now, but I can't help but think about how much happier I might have been if I hadn't been so insecure. It was only when I really stopped caring about what others thought of me that I truly was happy in school and unfortunately, that didn't happen until I was a senior.
It was amazing to witness a social situation that didn't reek of the loneliness, anxiety, rejection and isolation that I was sure existed across the board for all middle schools . Sure, there were groups that were off in their own cliques but I don't think that I saw any kids sitting alone. It seemed to me that everyone had a place that they felt that they belonged. I'm sure that there was no shortage of drama but the evening was pretty positive from my perspective.
I have to admit something that is incredibly embarrassing for me but it'll make sense shortly. I had bouts of fear over being at this dance even though I'm an adult now. I made jokes about it but in all sincerity, I feared being rejected. Ridiculous, I know. It wasn't a constant feeling but just the occasional moment of irrational fear that would strike but thankfully would pass quickly. I felt completely pathetic and weak during those moments and reverted back to the socially awkward girl that just wanted to be either liked or be invisible to "mean kids". I'm cringing on the inside right now. Sometimes self reflection sucks! I share all of this because last night I didn't see anyone experiencing being an outsider and that's incredibly comforting. It also helped that I didn't feel like a loser who nobody would talk to. Granted, I didn't make new friends or anything like that, but it was my choice to not socialize too much and that felt great. I didn't feel rejected at all because I have a silly, funny and friendly daughter who has friends who are just as silly, funny and friendly as she is. Even though I was just a mom who was there as a chaperone, they weren't "too cool" to talk to me even though I'm old :)
I also made a few observations throughout the night. I observed that 8th grade boys and girls still dance the same way as when I was their age. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule, but in my opinion it's like stepping into a time machine and going back to any middle school dance from any place at any time. I also noticed that dances are a big deal, unlike dances from my middle school time. It was seriously more like a prom and even though I know that the flyer said formal/semi-formal/casual were all welcome, I didn't expect so many beautiful dresses! I even saw some of the boys in suits and I think I saw a tux or two! Impressive!
I was going to try to pick out my favorite dress of the evening but after giving it careful consideration, I can't decide because there were too many dresses to choose from! I will say that Cassidy's owl dress was insanely awesome and it made me think "Give a Hoot. Don't pollute" and also reinforced my opinion that owls are pretty much the best bird ever. I also liked Ari's dress because it reminded me of the renaissance festival and that got me thinking about how much fun those are! I loved Yesenia's dress because it was a pretty shade of yellow but not in any way too yellow! It was a fun break from the monotony of the sea of black & white dresses. Emily, Skylar and Michelle all looked great in their dresses and I love that they all made sure to incorporate another color into their dresses because what fun is it if there's no color? Olivia's dress was exceptional because of the design and the nicely placed cut out patterns. She looked absolutely perfect. The dress is one of a kind and so is she! I love that kid!
Maybe this dance was an anomoly, maybe not. Either way, I'm glad that I got to see it for myself. Now I can replace awkward and painful associations with the positive experience of seeing kids having fun instead of having panic attacks.
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