Yesterday

Yesterday morning when I woke up, I was filled with dread. The first day of the work week is already rough enough, but when severe pain is factored in to the equation, it becomes brutal! I felt as though someone took a baseball bat and repeated laid into my lower back again and again. The pain made me feel like I was going to throw up and I was not in one of my better moods. That just made it seem so much worse.

It became crucial at at time to take a step back and really evaluate the type of day that I was heading toward and ask myself if a lousy day is what I really want for myself today. I was really afraid of the pain that I was dealing with because it's the first time since my flare up began that I've been in that much pain. I had to allow myself be aware of the good parts during the day that are so easy to miss when pain is in the driver's seat. That meant that I had to let some of the negativity go to the best of my ability.

My daycare children were extra lovable and that was a great mood booster. Steve called me from work to check on me and that made me feel very loved! It felt as if I had a team of angels working for me to lighten my load :). I witnessed quite a few instances of squirrels playing grab-ass, which is completely entertaining and if you haven't witnessed their tomfoolery as of yet, there is no better time than now! Also, listening to our beautiful wind chimes is a major mood lifter. I love the sound that the chimes make and I love how long that they resonate.  The sound is one of the most beautiful sounds that I have ever heard.

The way that we make the choice about our day matters more than we may ever realize. I'm glad that even despite the pain that I'm feeling, I can find the happiness in a day. 

I decided to get a new doctor to treat my SLE. I decided to choose a hematologist instead of a rheumatologist and I feel good about this choice. I like knowing that I will hear an entirely new set of treatment options.  I know that I won't get a different diagnosis, but I feel like a different specialist may be able to provide a different vantage point. 

All in all, it was a pretty good day.