when your waiting for the miracle, for the miracle to come.
Waiting. More waiting. Wait some more.
Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the big old anvil to drop from above. Maybe not an anvil, but instead a baby grand piano.
I'm anxious. I don't know why it's bothering me so much right now because at the moment I'm not waiting for anything specifically. My hematologist appointment is still over a month away. I wish that I could peg down the thought that has me feeling like this, but it eludes me.
I like to feel like I'm in control of my thoughts since I'm definitely not running the show as far as my body is concerned. As long as I have serenity in my head, then I can deal with chaos from the neck down. Anxiety over the unknown is not good for my sense of inner peace. It's like trying to come up with a battle strategy without knowing what the enemy looks like, what direction then attack will come from, the number of foes I'll be up against all while not having anything but a stick, a couple acorns and a pine cone to defend myself!
Like Leonard Cohen, I'm still waiting for the miracle to come...
