Memories of rainy days gone by...

I remember when I used to love it when it rained when I was a little girl.  I loved hearing the sound that the rain drops made as they hit the roof.  The smell of rain was intoxicating!  Watching the rain drops splatter on the ground and watching the rain roll down the windows was an activity that could keep me occupied for ages.  I liked trying to guess where the next drop would fall!  Rainy weather provided an incredibly cozy atmosphere and there was nothing better than cuddling with my mom or my dad on a rainy day.  Rain also had the same effect on me that a good Thanksgiving turkey had on me!  Napping on a rainy day was the best!  As long as it wasn't too cold outside, I was allowed to play in the rain and that was always a great time.  I would look up and let the rain fall on my face, but I didn't try to catch the rain drops in my mouth.  I wanted to see how long I could look up at the rain without closing my eyes!  Splashing in puddles was pretty much a given.  I also liked running in the rain and trying to use the grass as a "Slip-N-Slide".  I wouldn't recommend that because it almost always ends badly!  Still, before I inevitably got hurt when I would play that particular game, it was awesome! 

I miss being able to enjoy the rain.  Now when I see that it's raining, I start worrying about the physical toll that it will take on my body.  It's also a bummer to wake up in the morning and know that it has been raining based on the amount of pain that I'm in upon waking up.  I would gladly deal with the pain in my joints that come with the rain, but unfortunately I also have to be cautious because this kind of weather is the kind that quickly changes the direction of my recovery from the lupus flare that I'm in.  I have to be much more aware than I want to be.  I want to play in the rain and I want to enjoy it for all of the reasons that I did when I was a little kid.  I'm not so keen on doing the "Rainy Day Slip-N-Slide" anymore, but it would be nice to just look up and see how long I can keep my eyes open again.

One day I know that I'll get there.  I won't be in a flare forever.  I'm grateful for the progress that has been made in the treatment for lupus and even though I'm not a candidate for the newest treatment, I have hope that there will be a treatment option that I'll be a good candidate for!  In the meantime, I'm going to live vicariously through my childhood rainy day memories.