It's in all of us. Strength. Not physical strength, but the brand of strength that allows us to endure the kind of pain that none of us ever believes that we could withstand. It's what makes it possible for us to scratch and claw and climb after we have fallen so far down. It's not just strength, but courage as well. How else is it possible to lose those that we love with everything that we have inside of us but still have the capacity to love? That's strength and courage to me. When we can open our hearts and love so completely knowing how badly it hurts to lose our loved ones speaks volumes about how strong we are!
My sister lost her son two years ago today. Although Anthony only had one short day in this world, he left little fingerprints on our hearts. Tyra wasn't just strong enough to endure losing Anthony; she stayed strong enough to be willing to give love again. She now has a beautiful baby boy, Jaden, who is most definitely loved by all!
When our mother died, it was a struggle to be strong. I shut out my feelings as best I could because at the time, I believed that strength was not showing anyone how much I was hurting. I did my best to disconnect emotionally. I wouldn't allow myself to miss my mom until I reached the point in time when I couldn't hold it all in anymore. I refused to even let myself think about losing my dad because I felt like I wouldn't be able to go through the devastation of losing another parent. As strange as it may seem, I wanted to be able to shut down my feelings. I didn't want to love my dad because I wanted to avoid the pain that would be sure to come if I lost him, too. I don't believe that any longer and I'm thankful for it. I love my dad. I'll dig deep to gather the strength that I need to allow me to love my dad without holding back because of the pain that I know will come when he's gone.
People who suffer loss and heartache and still remain open to love and be loved are amazing. It takes strength and courage to willingly to do give love, which is infinte, while still knowing that life is finite. Very strong and brave, indeed!
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